


I Had All and Then Most of You

by flinthasfeels



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Eiji misses his flight, Emotional Hurt, Hopeful Ending, Hospitals, Hurt No Comfort, I cried while writing this, Okumura Eiji Is a Mess, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, POV Okumura Eiji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28850427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flinthasfeels/pseuds/flinthasfeels
Summary: Cancelling his and Ibe’s flight, Eiji wheels himself down to Ash’s hospital bed just to assure himself he’s okay.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, kinda? - Relationship
Kudos: 35





	I Had All and Then Most of You

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this, I recommend listening to The Night We Met by Lord Huron, but anything will do.

Everything was a blur up until now, wheeling himself down the hall as hastily as he could, white walls blending together as he picked up speed. 

How did he get here? When did he find himself doing something he shouldn’t be doing? A gunshot wound was at risk of opening up, but he didn’t care.

He decided that Ash’s wound was much worse. 

He felt guilt rise up within him when he realized he left Ibe at the entrance of the hospital.

But that’s the thing about adrenaline, it seemed to know no bounds.

Adrenaline made him delay his flight, adrenaline brought him here.

But as he found himself in front of the door  that held Ash beyond, everything came back. His senses along with the feeling of excruciating pain that came from his side.  Beads of sweat traced the shape of his face as it made its way to his jaw, then releasing.

His heart seemed to pick up pace, his distress increased his nausea, and he felt as if he was going to pass out.

So much pressure on a body that just got released from a hospitals care.

A hand of his own pressed up against the door reluctantly. Not only was he terrified to see what he would rest gaze on, he was terrified to see a green line go flat.

He was told that Ash was stable despite being found vulnerable and bleeding out, and being stable is better than nothing, he supposed. But that fear resided in the back of his head anyway.

The reluctance in moving his hand still weighed down on him. But the last burst of adrenaline made his arm push forward, the door going ajar, then opening fully letting out a creak.

And as he hauled himself in, the sight in front of him made his heart drop.

Skin pale as snow, blond hair spilt all over the pillow, posture rested eerily calm. But a sight equally as painful was when he saw his letter placed besides Ash on a table, smudges of blood staining it.

Eiji whispered his name, not just as a plea but as a form of reassurance that this was indeed Ash in front of him. He continued forward, his heart stooping lower and lower as he got closer.

It was such an awful sight, seeing Ash like this. IV’s tangling around each other and a machine beside his bedside, beeping a pattern. His chest would rise, then fall, lips parted as he let out each breath.

If it weren’t for his continuous breaths, he would’ve looked dead.

But maybe that’s because he did almost die, attempting to give up the perplexed like he has been given.

Eiji couldn’t do anything but sit beside him, defeated in his wheelchair. Nothing could prepare him for this, seeing someone he cares for so deeply entangled in such a situation.

He looked at the other’s face, there was no color on his cheeks and his expression remained still.

He felt his heart break in half. He had seen Ash in hospitals before, but all those times he was  awake  and  speaking,  sarcasm still exited those lips, those green eyes still beamed.

“I am so sorry, Ash.” Was all he could muster.

A part of him knew it wasn’t his fault. Hell, he was about to board a plane, but another part of him felt guilty that he couldn’t somehow save Ash from this situation. If only he could’ve been there...

“I wish I never taught you that word, Ash. You know what I’m talking about.” He sniffled, tears burning as they rested atop his bottom eyelids, “Because as soon as you said that to me, I was so close to never seeing you again.” 

And it was true, if another librarian haven’t of approached Ash, another, totally different outcome very well could’ve happened. And it made Eiji ache whenever he even dared to think about it.

His voice began to shake as he placed a hand on top of Ash’s, “I know it’s unlikely you will hear this, but if you can,” He took another glance at Ash, “I will  never  say sayonara to you, Ash. I told you once and I will say it again, I’ll stay by your side,  _ forever _ .” He enhanced the last word that fell off his tongue. And he meant it.

Eiji completely forecasted that there would be no response, he was unconscious. But a sliver of hope made him believe that maybe, just maybe, Ash could hear him. He hoped that Ash acknowledged Eiji’s presence, like Eiji could when Ash visited him.

He knew he would have to leave soon. Guilt continued to linger within him, a part of it having to do with worrying Ibe, but also because it was getting late, the growing darkness from the sun setting consumed him, and Ash’s face slowly disappeared.

The emotionless face Ash wore plagued his mind as he bowed his head down, placing a hand on each wheel of his wheelchair, making his way to the middle of the hospital room before he paused, looking back at Ash’s laying figure,

“We will see each other again. Because I know you’re strong, Ash.” His voice broke, turning his head back around, “You’ve proven that to me since the time we met at that bar— And ever since.”

He made an exit, quietly pushing open the door to be greeted by Ibe.

Muffled conversation was passed on outside of Ash’s room, his subconscious laced with heartache as he reevaluated every line Eiji spoke to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried a bit when making this so I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing this.


End file.
